Packaging
by Jake on Apr.23, 2007, under Jake
I am opposed to shoplifting as much as the next guy. It’s extremely costly to retailers to the tune of 9.7 billion dollars a year (according to the National Retail Security Survey). More importantly, it’s painfully costly to us as consumers–in more ways than one.
I bought a new toy last week (a bike pump), which had all the desirable qualities of a toy: good price, high potential usage, sleek design. The only problem was that its packaging was the retail equivalent of Fort Knox. If Santa’s Elves packaged Christmas presents with the same kind of security used on this pump, little children across the world would weep.
I was in such a rush to open this pump, because I wanted to get some exercise on my bike. (I know, it’s paradoxical: me…hurrying…to exercise.) So I pulled out a steak knife to cut the iron shackles off the bike pump and proceeded to cut my finger to the bone. What’s worse, the pump was still soundly stuck in its “protective” packaging. So, instead of a nice bike ride to get my exercise, I drove my finger to the hospital to get it sewed up. On the bright side, I didn’t have to get any stitches because they used this new technology called “sutcher tape” and a splint to fix it up. Now, as I slowly type, it looks like I am flipping off the screen with my splinted middle finger, which is not true–I am flipping off the people who packaged my bike pump.
The packaging used to prevent billions of dollars of shoplifting nearly cost me a digit. I guess I should use scissors next time…
April 23rd, 2007 on 10:53 am
OUCH! I am really sorry about your finger. I agree with you about packaging these days. It’s ridiculous. I remember one time trying to open a package of scissors. How in the world are you supposed to open it when what you need to open the dang thing is what’s inside the package? I guess a knife is the only option. And yes, shoplifters irritate me too. I don’t understand what makes them think they don’t have to pay for things while other people do. Anyway, I’m glad your finger is OK. I suggest you continue to flip off the people who packaged your pump…it’ll make you feel better.
April 23rd, 2007 on 3:13 pm
Jake
That plastic packaging is the number one cause of emergency room visits. I heard that a few times, but can’t actually tell you it is true. There have been many a times though that I have found that plastic packaging in the aisles with no product in them, thanks to shoplifters. They are good at getting it open, fast, and secretively. I would like to punch them all square in the face. Or kick them in the jaw. I am sorry about your finger. I hope that it doesn’t effect your billiards shot.
April 23rd, 2007 on 4:42 pm
I too argee with you about the “plastic seal” around objects (and I use the word “objects” very loosely) Braydon just had his birthday and of course, DAD gets to open ALL the presents (not even fast enoughm mind you, due to this fact of maybe cutting a digit off!!!) My complaint is after you have gotten past the 1st defence (plastic seal) you have to sit and un-tie the millions (and I mean MILLIONS) of twisty ties to every single “object” in the case!! Which is a task unto itself!!! What happen to the good ole’ days of ripping open a box and dumping out your prize!!!
Oh yea, SHOPLIFTERS!!!
At least you will have an awesome scar to show to all those you want (or don’t want!!!) to, if there is a scar.
April 24th, 2007 on 12:11 am
I didn’t realize that’s what the packaging was for. I’ve definitely had some moments of frustration with the stuff. If the knife or scissors don’t get you, than the plastic itself will! That stuff can be sharp! How sad for you, without your wifie to kiss it better.
April 24th, 2007 on 12:09 pm
ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ooww ooooooooowwwww! just last summer jodi had to take me to community care cuz i tried to slice off my thumb with a utility knife. it was a spurter, 6 stitches. the skin still is numb. dang my foolishness! i feel for ya, except for part of my thumb. dumb numb thumb.
pa
April 24th, 2007 on 2:53 pm
Jake,
I love the way you write! Bummer on the finger. Just wait until Allie gets Barbies with all those tiny little twisty ties (like Shane mentioned) to unwrap around every single limb and even the ones in her hair. I mean, if a kid is going to steal a toy, he’s not going to take it OUT of the box, he’ll just steal the whole box.
April 25th, 2007 on 1:27 am
You could use some utility sicissors. The ones that come in the crapy knife set you always seem to cut yourself with…Sorry. They make handy work of razor sharp lexon plastic and those stupid little twisty ties. I keep some in the tool chest, however mechanics are smart enough to not have complicated packaged parts, just simple boxes. Have you ever heard of someone shoplifting a starter or an engine?
April 26th, 2007 on 9:28 pm
How long is your wife going to be out of town? Yikes.
Be careful, bud… I’d hate to have no evil UNC-loving friends to be rivals against.